The Best love
I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl.
Im young again! she shouts exuberantly.
As my friend raves on about her new love, Ive taken a good look at my old one. My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital halls. His hairline is receding and his body shows the signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home.
When my friend asked me What will make this love last? I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, communication. Yet theres more. We still have fun. Spontaneous good times.Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled up newspaper, Scott flipped it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout first. Even washing dishes can be a blast. We enjoy simply being together.
And there are surprises. One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note, then another, until I reached the walk-in closet. I opened the door to find Scott holding a pot of gold and the treasure of a gift package. Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.
There is understanding. I understand why he must play basketball with the guys. And he understands why, once a year, I must get away from the house, the kids - and even him - to meet my sisters for a few days of nonsTOP talking and laughing.
There is sharing. Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens - we also share ideas. Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel. Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction, he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after Id read it.
There is forgiveness. When Im embarrasssingly loud and crazy at parties, Scott forgives me. When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said, Its okay. Its only money.
There is sensitivity. Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me its been a tough day. After he spent some time with the kids, I asked him what happened. He told me about a 60-year-old woman whod had a stroke. He wept as he recalled the womans husband standing beside her bed, caressing her hand. How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would probably never recover? I shed a few tears myself. Because of the medical crisis. Because there were still people who have been married 40 years. Because my husband is still moved and concerned after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.
There is faith. Last Tuesday a friend came over and confessed her fear that her husband is losing his courageous battle with cancer. On Wednesday I went to lunch with a friend who is struggling to reshape her life after divorce. On Thursday a neighbor called to talk about the frightening effects of Alzheimers disease on her father-in-laws personality. On Friday a childhood friend called long-distance to tell me her father had died. I hung up the phone and thought, this is too much heartache for one week. Through my tears, as I went out to run some errands, I noticed the boisterous orange blossoms of the gladiolus outside my window. I heard the delighted laughter of my son and his friend as they played. I caught sight of a wedding party emerging from a neighbors house. The bride, dressed in satin and lace, tossed her bouquet to her cheering friends. That night, I told my husband about these events. We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life and that the joys counter the sorrows. It was enough to keep us going.
Finally, there is knowing. I know Scott will throw his laundry just shy of the hamper every night; hell be late to most appointments and eat the last chocolate in the box. He knows that I sleep with a pillow over my head; Ill lock us out of the house at a regular basis, and I will also eat the last chocolate.
I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable. No, the sky is not bluer: its just a familiar hue. We dont feel particularly young: weve experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom, taking its toll on our bodies, and created our memories.
I hope weve got what it takes to make our love last. As a bride, I had Scotts wedding band engraved with Robert Brownings line Grow old along with me! Were following those instructions.
If anything is real, the heart will make it plain.
【中文译文】:
我的一位朋友正在热恋。她坦称天空比以前更蓝了,莫扎特的音乐让她落泪。她体重降了十五磅,看起来就像一个封面女郎。
我又年轻啦!她激动地大喊。
当我的朋友幸福地大谈特谈她的新欢时,我对我的旧爱细细审视了一遍。和我共度了将近二十年的老公斯科特体重增了十五磅。以前的马拉松运动员,现在只能在医院的大厅里跑来跑去的。他前额的头发愈加少,从体型能看出他长期工作并且糖块吃得太多。但他仍能隔着饭店的桌子,好的英语学习网站,用眼神向我发出某种暗示,然后我会立即结账,一块回家。
当朋友问我是什么让大家的爱情持续时,我的脑海里立刻浮现出所有那些显而易见的答案:承诺、一同喜好、无私奉献、身体吸引、交流交流,还有不少。大家仍然拥有乐趣,那些随便而来的美好时光。昨天,解开捆报纸的橡皮筋后,斯科特开玩笑地弹了我一下,随即引发了一场全方位的战争。上周六在杂货店,大家分开购物,比赛哪个先买好东西到结账处。甚至刷碗也能大闹一下。大家只不过享受简单的共处。
另外还有惊喜。一天我回到家,看到前门上贴着一张便条,它把我引向另一张便条,然后是另一张,一直把我引到家可进入的壁橱。我打开壁橱门,发现斯科特站在里面,一手拿着金壶(我的蒸煮锅),免费学英语的网站,一手拿着一包包装精美的宝物。我有时也在镜子上给他留便条,或把小礼品放在他的枕头下。
还有理解。我理解他为何必须要和伙伴们打篮球。他也理解我为何每年都要找个机会离开家和孩子们(甚至他)几天,同我的姐妹们没完没了地聊啊笑啊。
还有推荐。大家不但推荐家务琐事和为人爸爸妈妈的责任,还有思想交流。斯科特上月去开会,回来后他送给我一本厚厚的历史小说。虽然他更喜欢恐怖及科幻小说,他还是在飞机上将这本小说读完。当他讲解说是由于想在我读完后能与我交换技巧时,我深受感动。
还有宽恕。当我在聚会上叫人尴尬地喊叫疯狂时,他原谅了我。当他承认在股市赔进来大家的一些积蓄时,我拥抱着他说:没关系,不过是些钱罢了。
还有敏锐。上个星期当他回来的时候,脸上的神情让我感觉他这天过得非常不好。他与孩子们玩了一会儿,之后我问他出了什么事。他给我讲述了一个六十岁老太太的事情。这个老太太得了中风。回忆起老太太的老公站在她床边、爱抚着她的手的情形,他不由自主地流下了眼泪。他怎忍心告诉这个与她相伴四十年的老公他的老婆可能从来不会康复啊!我也不禁落泪。由于那位老太太不治的病情,由于仍有四十年的夫妻,由于经过数年的病房工作,整天面对垂死的患者,我的老公仍会感动,仍存怜悯。
还有信仰。上周二,一个朋友到家来,向我倾诉她的老公正在流失和癌症斗争的勇气。周三,我和一个朋友一块午餐她正烦恼着在离婚之后怎么样重新梳理我们的生活。周四,一个邻居告诉我老年痴呆症在她岳父身上有着多么可怕的影响。周五,一个儿时的朋友打长途电话告诉我她的爸爸过世了。在我挂了电话之后,想:这个星期真是一个伤心的星期。哭过之后,我有事要出去一下。我注意到鲜艳夺目的橙色剑兰正在我的窗外开放着。我听到我的孩子和他们的朋友一块玩耍的嬉戏声。我看到邻居家正好在举行着结婚典礼。新娘穿着绸缎和蕾丝的礼服,将花束抛向她欢呼的朋友。那晚,我告诉我的老公发生的这类事情。
最后,还有相互知道。我了解斯科特会把衣服扔得到处都是,然后晚上又面对满地的东西脸红;约会时他一直迟到,还会把盒子里最后一块巧克力吃掉。他也了解我一直喜欢在头上放着枕头睡觉;把大家锁在屋外是我的家常便饭,还有我也会把盒子里最后一块巧克力吃掉。
我感觉大家的爱之所以能延续是由于它非常温馨。当然,我的天空并没变得更蓝:它还是我熟知的色彩。大家也不特别地感到年轻:大家历程得太多了。这让大家成熟,带来智慧,也在大家的身体上刻下印记,免费学英语的网站,让大家切身感觉到痛苦,也创造了大家一同的回忆。
但愿大家都了解是什么让大家的爱维持下来的。在我还是新娘的时候,斯科特给我的结婚戒指上面刻着罗伯特?勃朗宁的名言:让大家一块变老吧!大家一直遵循着这类指导。
假如什么事情都是真的,心里都会了解的。